Posts

Seeing the Light

I've had a busy weekend as I prepared for several job interviews, which of course take priority over any thing else as I try to improve my family situation. But I have some time this morning and I wanted to write about seeing in the dark. Several things I was thinking about included medication. I am taking zoloft knock off that is working as it should. Medication may not be the answer for anyone but it is for me. And for those who think that depression is something that is mind over matter I can testify that isn't the case. Without medication I truly feel overwhelmed with darkness and often times feel I just don't want to live. It really is night and day with the med. While I still have to deal with negative thoughts and even with desire that life would just end because my trials would be over at least with medication I'm able to deal with life and make good choices. It doesn't make life easy but it does allow me to function normally. I also was listening to a

Sleep Deprivation

The good news is I've been busy preparing for job interviews. And in conjunction with taking care of our 1-year-old I missed my Wednesday post. My goal is to post 3 times a week. I read an interesting article last week that said sometimes with blogging less leads to more visits. That makes sense with so much out there to read and consume that a busy blog might actually be a turn off. One of the signs of depression surrounds the body and sleep. One of the things I've struggled with in the past and even currently is the difficulty getting going in the morning when I either I don't want to be somewhere or not having anything scheduled. It is why I love being in the classroom because I love teaching and it motivates me to get up in the morning and get going. I have been struggling lately to get a good nights sleep. Along with the stress of not being able to pay all my bills and being depressed I seem to be in terrible sleep cycle. I'm having a lot of trouble going to sl

Who to Talk too

I had an interesting conversation with a friend yesterday. I was asking for help. His parting words were to feel free to call him if i ever need someone to talk to. While I do believe he is sincere and I may take him up on it on one day, the one thing I have found having suffered with depression for so long is that I find it hard to come up with anything to say. While I'm doing much better dealing with overwhelming thoughts of doom, I still struggle to talk with people other than how is the weather, or go (insert favorite team here). I find it hard to really open up to anyone, even loved ones. It has been really hard these last 10 months spending so much time with someone who has yet to learn to say a complete sentence. I miss the classroom. I miss the interaction of the classroom. I still enjoy solitude but I've learned too much quiet can be deafening. So it is important to surround yourself with people who will listen. The more the merrier. I miss my best friend. We

Staying busy

A couple of things off the bat. I hope as this thing evolves that it will generate a lot of positive interaction. Also, I won't tolerate language that attacks another or is deemed harmful by me. I want this to be a positive force to help those with depression. One of things I've discovered from experience and interaction with others that one of the best tools to fighting depression is staying busy. It has been one of the things I've been dealing with a lot lately, especially dealing with unemployment for almost a year. There have days where I haven't wanted to get out of bed. There have been days where I just thought why bother. As of last count I've applied for over 1100 jobs. It can get discouraging at times. But what I've found is the courage to just keep going. Taking it one morning at a time. Also know it's ok to be down from time to time but to never give up. So what I've discovered is in the past having a job really helps. Getting involved

You are not alone

Right now I'm just focusing on creating some content and getting started. Later I'll work on the design and how I want this to look and maybe get more of an idea of how I want this blog to go. I need to follow my own advice that I give to beginning news writers, just get something down on the page, you can edit later. My initial thoughts are to combine sharing my experiences with evaluating different sites out there that can help people. So with that, I want to say if you are suffering from depression or from negative thoughts, don't be afraid to get help or talk to someone. Yet I as one who has had very dark days I know getting help or talking to someone else is often easier said than done. For example, today. I had a nice breakfast with people from my church but then I come home. My great anchor, my wife, is out working and I'm home alone with one-year-old. It's my faith and my love for my family that keeps me going, however, so often I feel alone. Other t

Gotta start sometime and somewhere

I've put off starting this blog long enough. Many nights have I written posts in my head that should have been written here. For now I'm starting. My purpose is not financial or fame but rather for personal healing, growth and the chance I can possibly help others who are dealing with similar circumstances and can learn from my experiences. For the first little bit I'll be the only one to read this but soon I'll make this public for all including my first posts. This purpose of this blog is to examine my struggles with depression. I've had thoughts of suicide. This is something I have struggled with all my life but really didn't become aware of my mental issues until later in life. I had glimpses early on but it was with the death of my best friend Dana in 2007 that forced me to face it head on. I've had several sessions with therapists. I'm on medication. Both things help. What I'm pleased about is the evolution of how society sees and deals